Rethinking Mother's Day

 Mention Mother’s Day and women the country over let out a collective groan. Unless our partners fulfil very specific requirements including, but not limited to, breakfast in bed, a sleep in, flowers, hand drawn cards and a sentimental (but never tacky) gift then we feel let down and take to online forums to vent our frustrations. “Why can’t I just have ONE DAY that’s about me?” we bemoan “Was he such a dickhead when I married him?” we cry.

When your expectations are set to the standards dictated by marketing campaigns and carefully curated Instagram feeds then it is no surprise we respond like this. We are being served the biggest load of bullshit about motherhood everywhere we turn! But reframe the bigger picture (no, not the family portrait your husband has had printed on canvas for you, in your imagination) and you can not only enjoy this Mother’s Day, you can make every day feel like Mother’s Day.  

Want to spend the day quietly seething that the kids climbed on your head at 6am and eating lunch with your mother-in-law at an overpriced restaurant where the best you can hope for is a glass of House Red and a wooden spoon from the Mother’s Day school stall? Or would you rather spend it doing something more meaningful, taking the opportunity to truly celebrate mothers in your community? Here’s a few suggestions to inspire you.…unless you choose the wooden spoon and the glass of red in which case, cheers!

1.       Invite your sisters, mums, in laws and besties to the Mother’s Day Classic in Melbourne

You’ll be raising money for breast cancer research and you’ll be so out of breath that when you ignore your in laws, you can just blame it on the exercise! Plus, you’ll be surrounded by other like-minded people and be inspired by just how awesome women truly are.

2.       Visit Emergency Services in your area

Do some baking with the kids and drop off yummy treats to all the mums giving up Mother’s Day to spend it working in Emergency Departments and Police Stations. Supporting women who are the backbone of these sectors is a nod to female empowerment. Better still, research services in your area that support families of kids who are in hospital. Put together some care packages and brighten a mum’s day who really needs it.

3.       Spend the day with a double-parent

Know someone who is doing the work of both parents on their own? Make them breakfast in bed and give them a sleep in. Bloody hell, make them the hand drawn card and a non-tacky sentimental gift. If there is one group of women who deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day, surely mums who are doing it solo are it!

Now that we have the day itself covered it’s time to address the age-old, socially complex question of why women suffer life overwhelm. Luckily, the answer is simple: It’s our own fault! Before you punch your computer in the face, stick with me and I’ll tell you why this is good news.

If we’ve painted ourselves into a corner by never setting boundaries, we can quickly and easily put some in place and suddenly, we will have the time and the space we crave each Mother’s Day on the daily. Want an extra hour every day to spend doing something you love? Hint: no one will set and maintain your boundaries for you. This is work you have to do yourself, for yourself. Here’s a few ideas of areas that may need some attention:

·         Boundaries at work. If you are replying to emails at 9pm or listening to your boss vent about her love life during your lunch break then it’s time to insert the crossed arms lady emoji and stop that nonsense.

·         Boundaries on your social media. Connection is constructive, time wasting is not. Download an app that will limit the time you spend down the Facebook rabbit hole and reclaim your evenings for hobbies and passions.

·         Boundaries with your partner. If you cancel your own plans every time he has to work late or has a conflicting schedule then the implicit message is that your time is less valuable. Pay a babysitter the first few times it happens and watch how quickly your time is suddenly treated differently.

·         Boundaries with the kids. How would your life change if everyone slept in their own bed and actually stayed there all night? Only one way to find out! ( I can help you with this one.)

Let’s give ourselves what we need every day of the year instead of waiting for that second Sunday in May to do it. After all, an investment in yourself is an investment in your family. Happy Every Day, mums. xo 

www.katiesbabies.com.au