I was privileged to work with a beautiful family, yesterday, who have a cheeky 2.5 yr boy and his new, 8 week old baby brother!
These boys are lucky to have a Mum & Dad who make a truly awesome & loving team. Having recognised that their smallest boy had started to struggle at nap time, they made the bold step of reaching out for support before allowing their niggling concern to turn into a full-blown PROBLEM!
They also had concerns that their breast fed baby was suffering from reflux, as so many of their well-intentioned friends and acquaintances, had suggested. Unfortunately there is often some cross-over between the symptoms of silent reflux and those of simple, over-tiredness. I understand how people may assume this diagnosis when faced with an inexplicably distressed child, however I always encourage parents to explore the more common causes of such behaviour before jumping ahead to the assumption that it must be a pathological condition.
They also had concerns that their breast fed baby was suffering from reflux, as so many of their well-intentioned friends and acquaintances, had suggested. Unfortunately there is often some cross-over between the symptoms of silent reflux and those of simple, over-tiredness. I understand how people may assume this diagnosis when faced with an inexplicably distressed child, however I always encourage parents to explore the more common causes of such behaviour before jumping ahead to the assumption that it must be a pathological condition.
At only two months old, such tiny babies are seeking only a few things, mainly nourishment, protection, warmth and rest. A mother and her baby have a unique relationship, an intricate dance based on the natural hormones & instincts of both. As a midwife, I am duty bound to preserve and protect the basic fibres of this bond as it is entirely intrinsic to the well being of both. For this reason I believe it is completely inappropriate to try and sleep train newborns or any baby under 6mo.
"So??? What did you do, then?" I hear you say.
Well...obviously I got to have lots of cuddles with that gorgeous little soul...who could resist?? (Their cat was pretty lovely too! Always a sucker for pets!)
Beyond that, we discussed a few other tips such as recognising tired signs, swaddling and the newborn startle reflex. We discussed breast feeding techniques & frequency and ways in which breast feeding naturally primes a baby for beautiful sleep.
Well...obviously I got to have lots of cuddles with that gorgeous little soul...who could resist?? (Their cat was pretty lovely too! Always a sucker for pets!)
Beyond that, we discussed a few other tips such as recognising tired signs, swaddling and the newborn startle reflex. We discussed breast feeding techniques & frequency and ways in which breast feeding naturally primes a baby for beautiful sleep.
Mum had been trying to follow sleep-school rules about not associating feeding with sleep but at this young age it was entirely counter-productive. Why interfere with something that nature has orchestrated so perfectly???
Following some reassurance that Mum needed no permission to just 'go with the flow', by the afternoon she was able to put her sleepy baby in his crib and walk out of the room to attend to her eldest son. She teared up that morning while she related how guilty she had felt at not being able to offer him nearly the time he deserved, as the baby had been taking up every spare moment.
10 minutes after we placed the well fed and contented little boy in his cot, Mum looked at me in disbelief.
"He hasn't cried! I felt sure I would have to go back in!"
"He hasn't cried! I felt sure I would have to go back in!"
With just a few little changes that gorgeous bub doubled his usual nap time with zero crying and a stress free mum!
Today his naps have quadrupled in length and last night he slept a whopping 6hrs straight, between 11 and 5. Mum is thrilled!
This goes to show that newborns are perfectly primed to sleep when they are full, and wake when they are hungry. They need to feel loved, secure & unstimulated in order to sleep. When they are tiny, they are simple creatures so why complicate it? Don't over think this stage, Mums. Believe in the instincts you were born with, not the well-intentioned routines, set by others.
By Katie Cortes
Midwife
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